Totem Pole

You know what really gets me? When people talk big, make promises, and act like you matter… and then, the moment someone else comes along, poof — you’re invisible. Gone. Bumped to the bottom of the totem pole like you never existed. Doesn’t matter how important your need was. Doesn’t matter how much they said they had your back. The second someone else “trumps” you, suddenly all that loyalty, all those words, don’t mean a damn thing.

And the wild part? They’ll pretend nothing’s changed. They’ll still smile in your face, throw around those same old empty phrases — “You know I’m always here for you,” “You’re important to me,” — while you’re sitting there realizing actions speak louder than any “I got you” ever could. It’s like watching someone rehearse a role they’ve already failed to play.

Here’s the truth: being at the bottom of the totem pole sucks. It’s frustrating, it’s insulting, and it shows you exactly where you stand in someone else’s world. And don’t let them fool you — promises don’t count if actions don’t follow. You can’t eat words. You can’t build trust on “maybe next time.” You can’t rely on “I got you” if they vanish the second it’s inconvenient.

But let me tell you something — being at the bottom? It’s a wake-up call. It teaches you who’s consistent and who’s convenient. Who’s in your corner when no one’s watching, and who’s just hanging around for the spotlight. Because when people show you how they rank you in their life, believe them. Every. Single. Time.

You start noticing patterns. You start realizing that silence speaks volumes. That the people who don’t check on you, don’t respond, don’t follow through — they’re telling you something, even when they’re not saying anything at all. You start learning that being “at the bottom” doesn’t mean you’re unworthy — it just means you’ve been standing in the wrong lineup.

And here’s the kicker: it doesn’t have to keep you down. You don’t owe anyone your patience, your loyalty, or your energy if they treat you like an option. You get to choose your own worth. You get to decide what kind of access people earn to you. Because let’s be real — if someone can’t value you when you’re quiet, they sure as hell don’t deserve you when you start standing tall.

So yeah, being there stings. It makes you question people, promises, and priorities. It makes you reevaluate who deserves a front-row seat in your life and who belongs way back in the cheap seats. But it also makes you stronger. It makes you smarter. It teaches you that being overlooked doesn’t make you small — it just means you’re outgrowing the space they tried to keep you in.

At the end of the day, you don’t need to fight for a spot on someone’s totem pole. Build your own. One where honesty sits at the top, loyalty stands beside it, and self-respect is carved right in the center. Because when you start honoring yourself that way, you’ll realize — you were never “bottom tier.” You were just surrounded by people who couldn’t see your value from that high up on their ego stack.