Mirror, Mirror

February isn’t always about loving someone else. So much of society tells us we should be chasing romance this time of year—but what if we focused on something even more powerful? What if this month was about falling in love with the one person who’s been with you through every high and every low: yourself?

In The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins shares a powerful lesson about acceptance—of others, yes—but especially of yourself: “Adults will have negative opinions about you and everything you do. Let Them judge… Let Them doubt you… Instead of wasting your time worrying about them, start living your life in a way that makes you proud of yourself.” That idea—learning what you can control (your thoughts, your actions, your self-worth)—is at the heart of real self-love.

Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest—and most rewarding—journeys you’ll ever take. For years, I thought self-love meant achieving a certain size, hitting a goal weight, or looking a certain way. I chased numbers on a scale and moments in the mirror, thinking they would bring me peace. And while losing weight did help me tremendously, the real transformation wasn’t in the pounds shed—it was in the reflection staring back at me and the way I finally began to see myself with pride.

At 32, I’ve learned that self-love isn’t about perfection. It’s about acceptance. It’s about looking in the mirror and saying, “I see you. I see everything you’ve been through, and I am proud of you.” It’s about celebrating what you can change and being gentle with the things you can’t. It’s realizing that your value isn’t measured by appearance, productivity, or anyone else’s opinion—it’s inherent, simply because you exist.

If you’re reading this and struggling to see your worth, here’s what has helped me—and what I hope will help you too:

1. Start with small affirmations. Every morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself one thing you love. It might feel awkward at first, but over time, those words build a foundation of self-respect and care.

2. Celebrate progress, not perfection. Did you choose a healthy meal? Move your body? Speak up for yourself? Those are victories. Celebrate them. Your journey isn’t just about outcomes—it’s about showing up for yourself consistently.

3. Treat your body as an ally, not an enemy. Your body carries you through life, often without thanks. Acknowledge its strength, flexibility, and resilience. Stand tall, breathe deeply, and appreciate it for all it does.

4. Journal your journey. Write about your wins, your struggles, and your growth. It’s powerful to read back and see how far you’ve come, and it gives your mind a safe space to process self-doubt.

5. Seek support. Therapy, support groups, or even a trusted friend can help you untangle the negative narratives you’ve carried for years. Sharing your journey can lighten the load and reinforce your worth.

6. Set boundaries with kindness. Saying no isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Protecting your energy and prioritizing your mental health is an act of self-love.

7. Practice patience. Self-love doesn’t happen overnight. Some days will feel like progress, others will feel like setbacks. That’s okay. Every step, every moment of self-kindness, is moving you forward.

Learning to love yourself also means forgiving yourself—accepting past mistakes, regrets, and things you cannot change. It’s realizing that life doesn’t have a perfect roadmap, but you can create your own path with grace and compassion.

So today, I invite you to stand in front of the mirror. Look at yourself. Really look. Notice the person you are—the resilience, the laughter, the heart, the story. And tell yourself, even if it feels a little shaky at first, “I love you. I am proud of you. I choose to see my worth.”

Self-love is not selfish. It’s necessary. It’s the foundation for happiness, peace, and meaningful relationships. And the beautiful part? The more love you give yourself, the more naturally it spreads outward—to others, to your life, and to the world around you.

You are enough—right here, right now. And your journey, with all its ups and downs, is worthy of love.

Even though I’m not fully there yet, falling in love with myself has been truly amazing. Every day I learn a little more about patience, grace, and pride in who I am—and that journey alone is worth everything.

I am the love of my life. I am my true best friend. Because in the end, it is I who is always here for me. So I am learning to treat myself as I would my closest friend—with love, kindness, and care.